Motormouth: I want to drive a lorry in all its glory

Published by on . Updated on 29 Jan 2024

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This motorist wants to drive trucks for a change, but needs a Class 4 driving licence.

I doubt I’ll ever get the licence in question, because this trucker fantasy of mine is fuelled by a horror movie.

The B-grade flick is called 'Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead'. It starred a bunch of unknowns who had nothing better to do, was directed by a nobody who had nothing else to shoot, and went direct to DVD before ending up online somehow. The original 'Joy Ride' had more star power (“fast and furious” Paul Walker) and was more successful, while the second sequel, 'Joy Ride 3: Roadkill', ended the thriller trilogy to everyone’s relief.

Most of the 'Joy Ride 2' production budget probably went to the truck and the villain, both of which are memorable, by the way.

The big, bad guy’s nickname is Rusty Nail and he has a big, bad truck. It has an evil diesel engine that screams like a demon and a powerful air horn that roars with rage. It sports a sinister superstructure with chimney-stack exhaust pipes that spew ominous clouds of smoke and dangerous flames like a demonic, metallic creature. The colour of the monster is a wicked shade between black and dark. 

In the movie, Rusty Nail and his nasty lorry charge from truck-stop to truck-stop, leaving death and destruction in their wake. He is truly a trucking madman in America, who is far worse than the most bitter truckers we had the misfortune of encountering on the road in Asia. 

Blood and guts belong on celluloid, but sometimes they spill in real life when careless/reckless lorry drivers push their luck too far and end up in horrifying traffic accidents.  

Hmm, maybe I should seek my Class 4 inspiration from some other movie with a lorry. I wonder if there’s any about a kind lorry driver who earns an honest living, leads a happy life, and looks out for other road users. He also takes underprivileged children on charity joyrides in his lovely lorry.

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